This Winter

I have caught a cold. I really wish snot didn't come out wet and dry hard. It just means I've got wet pockets and a scratched nose. You know how fucking delicate I am. Oh! The Agony!

x

His fucking head's fallen off!

But he still thinks you're a twat!

His misfortune betrays my construction methods though. I had to cut his head in half to lift it up! Being alone, (but not single - sorry ladies) as I currently am, I had no help, you see. I couldn't roll the body any bigger, neither. Snow gets really heavy when it gangs up. I finally understand how people die in avalanches. The eagle-eyed amongst you may notice another unfotunate accident to befall Monsieur Snow. There I go again. Soz.

I'll do it here though.

"Cheers cunt", I wittily retorted. Well, what else is there?

An Idiot and a Moron

I bet you thought I'd left you. Well I haven't. I almost wrote a couple of days ago, in fact. But it took our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ (see below) to bring me fully back.

To this end, I offereth unto thee a transciption of the conversation I was smited with on my walk home from the tram station, after I had been at work for 9 1/2 hours (more on that later). It seems, witnessing the decline in church attendance of recent years, the dark streets of Wolverhampton have found themselves the subject of a bit of a recruitment drive by the aforementioned nuts.

Enter Old Woman, Myself (moving to walk around OW as she crosses my path).

Old Woman: "Excuse me, can you tell me where the Catholic church is?"

Not being convinced she was truly looking for it, and not wishing to enter into a conversation on my religious tendencies with a woman wearing a placard of Jesus' face, I replied politely, but not apologetically.

Myself (still walking): "I couldn't say I can."

Sensing, somehow, that I did not know where the church was, and perhaps also that I wasn't particularly interested in finding out, she informed me of her disappointment.

Mad Woman: "Then you're an idiot and a moron! You don't even know where the Catholic church is and you live here! Idiot!"

Not wishing to appear to keen by displaying my surging enthusiasm, I did answer her criticism, but I'm ashamed to say I did so by thanking her and voicing an opinion on her own character, using possibly less than savoury words, which for the purposes of being taken seriously I shall not repeat here.

Having said this, I do respect that woman. I wouldn't walk around Wolverhampton in the dark shouting things like that at men twice my size.

x

Witness, right, a 2-hour, one-man snowie formed dans le jardin by moi last Thursday. I know you can't see it, but my gesture is merely mimicking that of the Homme de Neige. Pardon my French, I don't know what's happening to me. Carpe Diem, as non-members say.

This post is here for no other reason than for Jesus and I to voice our opinions on certain people, namely you. Sorry cunt.

Bloody Weather

I do other things than look out of the window, you know, but I don't want it to be raining.

I just clicked on that Launchcast link (<---) because I saw it, and judging by this one song I've heard (which isn't Sledgehammer) I really like the music of Mr Peter Gabriel. Finished school at 3 today, 20 minutes earlier than usual. I've written one form out, but done fuck all marking. I'm gonna die soon if I don't start sorting this out. Death by shirking, if you'd believe such a thing. Anyway, nice to talk to you cunt, time to go home.

xxx

Hey.

It's raining.

Thought yesterday we'd been excused Winter and skipped forward to spring, but the weather's shit today. And I've got to walk up and pay the rent today. I'd put it off, but it's already been put off until pay day. Which is today. I'm gonna have to do a lot of phoning and calculating to give everybody enough money to stop them taking me to court but little enough so that all the other money-grabbers can have a bit. For fuck's sake, can't they give me a break? Just for a bit? This is my second pay day in this job, but I wouldn't notice, I'm never allowed to keep any of it! Lloyds don't help with their continual fucking charging either. Hey! One of our charges from last month sent you over your limit! We're gonna have to charge you 30 quid for that, my son.

Cheers, you fucking bankers.

Must dash. x

Your new favourite band

Try this out for size: http://www.sethputnam.com/AC.html

What a cunt!

I feel I should draw your attention

to the following web site. Or whatever they're called these days- http://hitlercats.motime.com/

It seems to combine your two passions in life, so I thought you'd enjoy it.

Mighty boosh series two sucks.

And considering they won themselves only one of the group matches, I'd like to wish our lads luck in Germany tomorrow.

1 nil by a goal we didn't score.

Pack your bags lads, it's hometime.

Wanna see our Grass? Yes, the capital G is deserved. That's less than half I've managed to cut. And Paul-cunt did most of that. I had a go yesterday but the strimmer started smoking. With actual smoke. Left it a bit and it was making a queer sound. I know, I know, I shouldn't have let it get so long. I reckon it's about 2 ft tall at least. It'd be quite pretty as a meadow, but it's a bit embarrassing as a garden. Even for a cunt like me. You cunt.